Coping Mechanisms – the Good, the Bad, the Ugly

This episode follows the family as they begin to reconcile with their feelings of anger, both publicly and privately. When Kimora Lee Simmons puts forth the idea that the Kardashians are conveying weakness, Khloe reacts VISCERALLY. “Khlo-Money is back” she says emphatically, declaring that the family’s passive attitude is no longer acceptable – they have to fight back with a vengeance. The Kardashians are not to be f-cked with. Interestingly, for moral support, Khloe suggests calling Kanye. Who better to garner support from than the aggressive tweeter himself? “How bout you send just 200 tweets?”

I found this episode to be one of the most humanizing I’ve ever seen. Though the Kardashians are dealing with an unrelatable PR shit-storm, they’re also dealing with backlash after a few petty tweets. This is truly part of the human (particularly the female) condition. Khloe’s tweeting at Jordyn after Red Table Talk was certainly mishandled, and Khloe herself notes as much at the end of the episode when the general public begins to shift blame and anger toward her. Kim and Malika’s breakup singalong in the car was also met with criticism by fans and Kylie Jenners alike. Kim likewise admits this is not what she’s about. The bullying ain’t it, and I’m proud that the girls seemed to own up to their own poor behavior despite their frustration with Jordyn.

To me, Kylie actually comes out on top through this episode. The way she handles this incredibly challenging and unfair situation is by rising up with maturity and grace. “She’s obviously going through a personal journey… that I’m not supportive of,” says Kylie, speaking diplomatically about the struggle her friend is going through while also asserting that her actions were clearly unacceptable. Her business decisions also speak volumes – Kylie decides to remove the Jordy lipkits from sale so as not to be “messy,” and this decision reflects her calm attitude both in life and in business.

Honorable mention to Scott for his alternate perspective. He’s consistently bringing levity to this group and it’s an admirable quality, especially considering all the years he got shit from the family for essentially being a f*ck-up. When Khloe wonders why Jordyn did Red Table Talk before apologizing to her, Scott poses an interesting idea: “maybe she’s petrified – you guys are pretty powerful.” Scott–were you in my brain last week?

Family First

This week, I was brought back to the original reason I fell in love with this show: family. As the girls grapple with disloyal friends, they are brought back to their roots: family first. It should be a universal principle, but it’s especially emphasized in a family of people whose lives are under a microscope. Without family loyalty, the Kardashian-Jenners would have nothing. When Kris neglects to tell Khloe that Jordyn would appear on Red Table Talk, Khloe is incredibly disappointed in her Mom’s behavior. “I’m your daughter…they’re f*cking with us,” Khloe screams at her Mom, Kris. Kris’s decision to err on the side of Kylie’s best interest infuriates Khloe, and she yells at Kris in a last-ditch effort to remind her that she needs to consider all of her children when making these calls.

We can say that the Kardashians are impressive for their incredibly successful brands, reality show, and global recognition. To me, they are a case study of the power that lies within a united family. Though this episode demonstrated a test in familial unity, it also reminded us that these women got to where they are because of their family. How many other stars can you think of that rose to fame and became utterly unhinged? It could be for a number of reasons, but I believe it’s mostly because some of these celebrities don’t have that prerequisite for achieving stable fame. The Kardashians’ secret sauce to sanity and continuous growth is simple: family.

If Kim went against her husband when he went on a Twitter shit-storm last year, if Kylie had turned against Khloe during Jordyngate, if Kourtney publicly went against Scott when he began dating Sofia… we may have all noticed a crack in the shell. To me, their disunity would be a bigger PR nightmare than any cheating friend or Twitter drama. There’s a special place in hell for family who turns against family, and the Kardashians never do this. Their continuous support of one another is what keeps them powerful and grounded. Their success is a testament to their familial unit, and what it means to stick together despite trying times.

What comes next?

When KUWTK returns next season, we can probably expect to see a lot more of Kim’s journey to Kim Kardashian West, Esq. This is a dream-come-true for me. As an aspiring lawyer and life-long Kim K Stan, her dual-threat as a beauty icon and lawyer is as on-brand for me as it gets. We’ll likely see more Kardashian Kiddo content, as Kim became a mother of four and there are whispers of a second baby for one Kylie Jenner. I also hope to see more development of Kanye’s Sunday Service (would it hurt us to finally get that Sunday Service Tour I’ve been asking about? #DailySundayServiceTourPrayer – get it trending). Perhaps we’ll learn more about Kylie’s status as “self-made” billionaire and we’ll get to watch her skincare line come to fruition, as well as Kim’s body makeup and shapewear lines. I’m looking forward to what lies ahead for this family, and I know they’ll deliver. We can count on Kris Jenner for that. Ciao, dolls.

Welcome to Week 3 of my recaps — we’ve finally reached what die-hard stans and fair-weather “fans” have been waiting for: Jordyngate. We were all there for this story’s original break back in February; rumors of a Jordyn/Tristan romp seemed unbelievable, even for the family who’d been through a 72-day marriage, a public gender transition, and a cheating scandal during the ninth month of pregnancy (thanks for Round 2 Tristan, I guess…). I originally thought the story was completely fabricated, a far-fetched clickbait article put together by a desperate amateur journalist. This notion was quickly put to rest as the family stayed deafeningly silent on the issue (“wouldn’t they defend her if it wasn’t true?” we all asked) and Jordyn addressed the rumors herself on Red Table Talk just a few days later.

The Jordyn Of It All

The episode centers around Khloe as she is renovating her house and suffering with migraines through the process. The producers (synonymous with Kris Jenner, lol) are careful to include Jordyn in this opening scene, wherein Khloe is describing the additions she’s making to her Calabasas mansion. They also throw in a pregnancy scare which prompts Khloe and Kris to take some tests. This was undoubtedly a Clearblue sponsorship, but I still got a good laugh from Kris Jenner’s test displaying a book and not a typical +/- sign.

Khloe’s migraines (and bloody vomit, ew) prevent her from going to Cleveland, and we are led to believe that the Jordyn drama unfolds in the days following this cancelled trip. Do we think Khloe was really experiencing a kind of clairvoyant stress with her migraines, was it a case of excellent editing, or were the two sequential but unrelated?

Khloe visits her OB/GYN (yes, the one that delivered her baby, informally known as Dr. A). Ladies, pro-tip: if you’re experiencing a medical issue and you’re not sure which doctor you should see, your gynecologist is a great bet. Lady doctors are the best. Though Khloe’s MRI comes back normal, her world is quickly rocked by the news that her on-again-off-again baby Daddy, Tristan “Third Trimester” Thompson hooked up with the Kardashian-Jenner family friend (and live-in BFF of Kylie), Jordyn Woods. Larsa Pippen calls to tell Kim the news, and the story breaks while Kourt and Kim are doing interviews. The sisters do a conference call where Khloe says she talked to Jordyn, who wasn’t providing Khloe with the “whole truth.” Jordyn talks about a kiss but can’t remember if she “did or didn’t.” This warrants a disgusted response and disbelief from all sisters, including Kylie.

Kim also gets a call from Tracy Romulus who’s actually Kanye West’s publicist. Even Tracy, with her seasoned background working on total PR shitstorms (“I no longer have a manager, I can’t be managed”), is in disbelief about this story . “Tristan is a disgusting pig,” she says to Kim’s agreement.

Kim, Kylie, and Khloe have a sit-down where Khloe lays out the logical flaws in Jordyn’s mistake. Clear-headed and almost emotionless, Khloe relays her disappointment in Jordyn. “We all knew what Tristan is capable of,” she notes, but Jordyn’s behavior was completely unlike her. This is the paramount conclusion of this entire scandal. It’s not that society is “blaming the woman,” or “slut-shaming” Jordyn – it’s that this was expected of Tristan, not of Jordyn.

A Church In The Wild

The episode also touches on the development of Kanye’s “church” which has been in development for several months. It’s commonly known as the “Sunday Service,” and it started in a lot in Burbank, but the episode follows Kanye as he moves the service to outdoor venues. **Please note that I’m working on a very modest campaign to get this Service to be a national tour — #DailySundayServiceTourPrayer, get it trending.** The Service has become wildly popular, and even Kim notes she’s excited to see its growth. The repetitive use of the word “church” had me CRINGING, because critics accuse Kanye of starting a cult fostered by his “God-Complex” with the hope of making a profit and pulling people in like a cult. I don’t want to get into all of this criticism right now, but I disagree with it. Still, using “church” could potentially be damaging to Kanye’s project since evangelicals and atheists alike may be skeptical of his plan. That’s never stopped the man before.

I also want to take a brief interlude to just note how Kanye West stands at ColorMeMine. There’s nothing normal about him and I love him for all his idiosyncrasies.

Forgiveness?

During the sisters’ discussion, Kylie makes it clear that if her relationship with Jordyn should ever continue, it won’t look the same. Back when this story broke, you may recall Khloe tweeted that Jordyn essentially broke up her family, which was all-around a bad use of Twitter, but Khloe soon retracted her statement after it was met with a lot of criticism.

I admittedly felt sympathy for Jordyn then, and I still feel a microscopic amount of sympathy for her now. Jordyn fucked up majorly thrice: the first mistake was whatever the hell happened with Tristan, the second was not telling the whole truth to Khloe when she was confronted, and the third was not saying sorry. Khloe notes in the episode that she’s sympathetic to everyone, but that Jordyn’s complete disregard for Khloe’s feelings in this left Khloe with no choice but to cut Jordyn out and blame her for part of this event.

Still, I’m often sympathetic to people who are at the receiving end of internet trolling and hatred. Jordyn, in my opinion, should not be forgiven by the Kardashian-Jenners, should no longer be an employee for Good American or work with Kylie Cosmetics, and she should not be looked upon favorably by any of the sisters, Kris, etc. However, her careless actions do not warrant some of the hate she has received. I will never ever understand internet trolls who take it upon themselves to tell anyone to “kill themselves” or even to openly slut-shame her. She was in the wrong, but keyboard warriors always take it too far.

Still, Jordyn’s actions were unforgivable. I have nothing to say about Tristan Thompson except that he’s a mediocre-at-best basketball player. We already knew that. Jordyn lived with Kylie and has been a friend of the family for so long. What mindspace could she have been in to have any sort of ANYTHING with Tristan Thompson, and what’s worse, how could she go home (to Kylie’s…) and lie with a smile on her face until she was caught in her own shit? Like Kim said, I would have been begging for Khloe’s forgiveness should I have ever made that first mistake. I would never have been able to live with that type of guilt, and I feel like most of the people reading this would be the same.

A fellow Toaster, Hannah Luble, said it best: “she f*cked up, but she should still be able to work… she’s a child.” I completely agree with this and don’t know why it’s a controversial opinion… I know most of us would not have made these mistakes when we were 21, but it’s also worth noting that Jordyn is young and that the Kardashians are a POWERFUL empire of women who can essentially destroy careers at the snap of a finger. Fortunately for Jordyn, her career does not seem to be a problem. She is in the midst of a collab with Boohoo. You’d almost think Kris Jenner is her manager?

Stay tuned for next week, where things appear to get emotional and Kylie’s loyalty is seemingly tested. Until then, dolls!

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